A recruiting broker’s life.
When I wasn’t working for the Defense Intelligence Agency I was a recruiting broker. Or a recruiter who was a broker.
That’s how I ought to begin a new novel. It would be a best seller in my dreams. The vague book publications that no one reads would praise my work. “A rock solid descent into the world of spy craft and the defense challenges seen up close and personal….”
Jokes aside there is some truth in that part about my being a broker and a recruiter. I did it for 28 years of my life. I was both because I tried being only a recruiter but there was too much competition. Fortune 500 and smaller companies have their own set of vendors they use. Each companies has dozens. Each division within each company has dozens. Some are standardized throughout the companies others are up to each division. I’ll give you an example. The only corporate job I ever had was with Cordis, a stent maker. Cordis was a division of Johnson and Johnson, a major medical and pharmaceutical company. I guarantee you that if you call up the HR Department of Cordis, they will tell you the following: we are not accepting any new vendors. We re-evaluate vendors every year. We will let you know. Are those vendors the same that J&J uses? Are they your own set of vendors?
My point is I tried and tried and tried. When I called myself Rocky Sanghvi I got no return calls. When I called myself Christopher Avery I got immediate call backs. Hey Julia this is Christopher Avery calling. I am trying to get in touch with your Director of IT. I need to know their name, phone number and email. Would you please call me back? Chris Avery worked even better. Hey Samantha, this is Chris. Chris Avery. I’m trying to reach Vernon Augustus but haven’t drawn him into a conversation yet. We keep missing each other. I would love to get on a fixed scheduled call with him and 10am or noon tomorrow would be best. Could you make some magic happen for me?
I tried all sorts of different lines. What I did not try was sounding stupid: James, this is ROCKY SANGHVI calling and I’m pretty confident there isn’t such a thing but I hope I am catching you at a convenient moment. Am I?
Long story short, I only managed to find work as a broker of sorts. Say you’re an IT Systems Integrator. You’ve been given a big project to implement a software package for a public school district. In order to implement the package you will need a team of 20 to 50 professionals for a period of about a year. The Systems Integrator specializes in that software and its implementation. Even more specifically they specialize in public and semi-public government type institutions. The bid for multiple projects, they win some and they lose some. The ones they win, they need staff for. Most of the time they have people on their staff who can do the work. These professionals go from project to project around the country implementing these packages. Sometimes they don’t have specific talent. That’s where I come in.
Hey Rocky, we need an expert specializing in Payroll, HR and Benefits modules of a software package. They need to be both functional and technical. Not technical enough to code but enough to understand how to talk to coders. They are the liaison between the client and the functional team and interfacing directly with the coders. I need at least 3 resumes today and interviews by tomorrow. If we choose one they’ll start Monday. Location is Fortuna, California. We will pay you about 85-100/hr plus expenses.
Uh, do we have any wiggle room on the rates? Cause I have to pay them too.
Send us who you have. We’ll consider 105 if necessary but I think you can find them in the range we provided.
Okay. And we hung up.
That meant I had to find someone at 85/hr + expenses ideally lower. 70-85/hr + expenses. I kept 20/hr to run the company and pay myself. Running the company meant paying for a whole range of bills: insurance, job portals, internal databases, utilities, rent, salaries of other employees, commissions etc etc. Still there were years when I cleared over 500K. I was living the American Dream. And my name wasn’t Chris.
I mean Christopher has a right to live the American dream. So does Chris. But me? I was just an immigrant with a funny name. HR Departments wouldn’t give me the time of day. I understood their bias instinctively. I didn’t hold it against them. I held it against me. That’s why I changed my name from Rakesh to Rocky. I am one of you. I am more American than you think I am. I swear. Those were my biggest problems. The self inflicted wounds. Must earn money to pay off the mortgage. Must save money to provide for an Ivy League education for my daughter. Must save money for retirement. Must, must, must…. I got lost in the must.
28 years went by. I became far older than I am. Then another 14 years went by. A lifetime those 14 years of incredible misery and what seems like an incredible pharmacy worth of afflictions. I am still afflicted with some sort of skull enhancement project whose purpose I don’t know and no one has disclosed it to me. That’s why I videotape spiritual interviews now. And fart constantly. And hear insane laughter in my mind. Kind of like Gary Oldman in the show Slow Horses. Except I type while he ran the misfits outfit. I’ll be more impressed when they let an American act as the British PM or Royalty in a movie. Only fair, the Brit actors have played those parts for other countries.
What? I like name dropping. I got nothing better to do than type. Anyway, that’s work. I forget what the gist of the essay was. I think the essay was about why I wanted employees to work from within the office. I don’t think it was only a case of ego. It was a case of urgency in recruiting. The order had come in and had to be filled or someone else would fill it. In order to fill the order, I needed to hold a meeting, explain what the client wanted to my recruiters and then I needed them to produce the resumes within a certain timeframe. In order to encourage them to do so, I needed to be able to walk by their office and strike up a conversation and casually ask how the search was coming along. It makes a difference to see someone face to face than over zoom. It more immediate. I need the resume now pal. Tomorrow is too late. That sort of stuff. When it was busy there were 15 orders against which we needed resumes on any given day. Sometimes more unto 30. You can’t do all that on zoom.
Although nowadays with the mind stuff I don’t know how it works. I haven’t been on a mind zoom. I can’t hack into the matrix. I don’t see any of you. I can’t hear any of you. Or most of you. Thankfully.
Yo John we having a zoom?
I am already on.
What? Where? I don’t see you.
I am here pal, in your mind. Don’t you see me?
Nope. Damn it gotta get it checked again. Was your security status upgraded? Why can’t I see you?
Where’s my fucking resumes?
Is that what it’s like? That’s what it probably is like at work nowadays. I was simply providing my pre-mind to mind connection work style to you. It made sense then to have people in the office. Now? Now I don’t know. Until I see, I can’t say.
Even the burger joints wouldn’t give me a job. I applied. Their sign says we’re hiring. Yet I got rejection letters. No reason provided. It sounds suspiciously like the same kind of cage where the Google Analytics shows over 60 cities (all in California) have read these posts but only 14 users.
Someday you will all get a chance to buy Recruiter Hoodies but not … well let’s not ruin it. That day is not today Crispin. And we don’t want your money. It all goes to Wheelsentientmusings.comShare.
lol
San Diego, California.
8:54 pm.
PS: Miranda’s Rescue and Animal Sanctuary in Fortuna, CA. What a tragic story. Only question I have is, if you people can log into me, how come you didn’t login to those guys? Can you honestly pretend and say the people of that town had no idea, none, of what was happening?
