Why does the United States look like a teapot?
What?
You never noticed? Remove the top, remove the handle and you’re left with a teapot and a spout (Maine, Vermont and New Hampshire).
What?
Was that what the Tea Party was all about then?
A teapot is not a despot.
What?
On what grounds are you sending me these thoughts?
Coffee grounds.
What?
USS stands for United States Ship but SS stands for steamship.
Except when SS stands for submarine.
What?
The full form of the Gestapo in Nazi Germany was Geheime Staatspolizei or GS.
Goldman Sachs Elevator was a truly funny handle on Twitter.
What?
The GS was absorbed into the SS also known as Schutzstaffel
I thought you said SS was a Steamship.
The SS United States has been sunk and it’s still the SS United States. It turned from a steamship into a submarine.
What?
It’s amazing what a person can do with a simple rhetorical device like a word.
What?
What is associated with speech but Why is associated with sight.
How so?
What did you say to me?
I hear you.
Understated humour is different from that which is unspoken.
Those unspoken for are different from those that are spoken for.
When did you get married?
What?
“To be spoken for” means that your wife will do your speaking for you.
One ring to rule them all.
The tyranny of the minority.
Despotic.
How do you die from a cleaning op?
What?
Uh… that’s a cleaning accident not a cleaning “op”
Is an ass fixation the same as asphyxiation?
What?
You really shouldn’t make fun of the dead.
If you knew what happened in Bhopal and United Carbide you’d find this very funny.
Both American.
What are we talking about?
Butts.
Oh you mean in the language? Like we can do this but it’s better if we don’t do this?
Joey Buttafucco really did like Amy.
What?
Sorry some of these cultural references are too ancient for you.
Trump will be happy.
Why you aren’t? Isn’t this genuinely good news for American manufacturing? 2000 jobs at the main plant, another few hundred jobs at the suppliers, and then the manufacturing multiplier jobs. That should be at least 20K new jobs created.
The story of manufacturing is not just jobs. It’s also about capital. And the flow of capital.
But the CEO is all American! Dave Jamieson!
Uh.. he is actually Canadian.
See tariff negotiations do pay off.
True and the profits flow to Japan.
Ah please… it’s a win for the SS United States. Take it.
Why Iran why?
Don’t cry for me Argentina!
Don't bring Madonna into this!
To be fair Argentina started it first.
I don’t understand… Argentina is all the way at the bottom of South America. What’s it got to do with Iran?
Is Javier Milei Jewish?
Isn’t everyone?
Bro, don’t be Adam Sandler.
Are you fixating on A.S. again?
Not to worry the climate cops are here.
Why is that particular part of the UN based in Bonn, Germany as a part of two lonely skyscrapers and a small building?
You think the UN is only in New York?
Gaza is not just a genocide, it’s now becoming an ecocide.
It’s just new words for suffering. Imagine losing your family, being forced into a tent, watching missiles blow up your tent neighbors, being forced to move your tent 8 times and then the tent gets flooded while your neighborhood babies get frozen from the cold overnight. And there are no hospitals nearby, no transport and the last remaining hospital also got bombed. That’s not really an ecocide. It’s just suffering.
I thought we were doing comedy.
We are.
What?
It’s all about juxtapositions kid. If I placed the sinking of the SS United States right above an article where an Afghan palace is being restored would that be better or worse?
Uh… then my mind would think why couldn’t we save the SS United States if the Afghans can save their 2000 yr old palace.
But we did save it. We made it into a reef. Imagine all the little fishies that’ll find a home there.
Look pal, the US, the United States, the USA or the United States of America are all just ideas. If it was so sacred to you, why did you shorten it into an acronym? And then chant it? The fact is you were trained to think of it as sacred and yet you kept desecrating it. And you didn’t bother to notice the cognitive dissonance.
I don’t understand.
Do you swear allegiance to the USA or America or the United States of America? Does it not sound wrong when you say “I swear allegiance to the US”? If it sounds wrong why did you call your country so many different names?
What? I thought it was all coded ways to speak about us. You and me. United Airlines. UA. Under Age limits. You know?
No I don’t know.
Okay, when you’re in a foreign country and you want to talk about home, don’t you say "Honey, I think we need to talk about the kids and us”. And your partner knows you are referring to Langley?
Not all Americans are spies pal. We’re not Israeli or Chinese.
What?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, people this conversation went from comedy hour to something a bit more nuanced. We can’t have that.
Oh its all comedy. The fact that Americans gave Taiwan semiconductor technology, trained them, had them build factories there, became dependent on them knowing fully well that China is only 250 nautical miles from Taiwan and that Taiwan’s real name is Republic of China… knowing all that we transferred our semiconductor tech there. And if that wasn’t enough we allowed a Taiwan born national to become the CEO of the largest American semiconductor company, in fact for a while, it was the largest company in the world. And if that wasn’t enough we allowed his cousin, first removed of course, to become the CEO of the 2nd largest semiconductor company in America. If that’s not comedy from China’s perspective, I fail to see what is.
Why do you sound like Red Reddington?
What?
Brought to you by Ground News. From Kitchener, Canada.
Oh and Canada, don’t worry about those missing F-35 parts. You’re going with Saab JAS Gripen anyway. Although you are contractually obligated to the first 16 and then the next 14. For a war you’ll never probably fight. And if you do fight, your pilots will go against Chinese-made defenses that already have the design plans of the F-35. We wish your pilots the very best.
The Government Accountability Office suggests that the DOD needs Better Accountability.
That’s fuckin’ funny, no?
It’s all comedy pal. Go to sleep.
Well Hollywood covered both the Teapot and the Lamp. That’s the good news.
What’s the bad news?
China named their company Alibaba not Aladdin.
Jack Ma is amused.
Was Will Smith’s casting as the genie cause he’s black? Is it a slave reference?
No.
That’s ASS FIXATION.
That’s ASPHYXIATION.
