Good News, Bad News.

Let’s play good news, bad news.

You ever get a letter in the mail that made you feel rich for a bit and then you realized you couldn’t possibly get reimbursed?
I have. Many times. They are legal settlements in America. Say a stock you had, if a person was rich enough to afford stocks, went bankrupt because the company lied and kept lying in conference calls and SEC statements. Then the lawyers go to work and get some sort of a settlement from what’s left of the company. They send a letter, and say things like, you might be eligible for some cash if you can prove that you owned this stock (or in the case of car recall settlements, that you owned a vehicle at that time) and you have to provide the buying price and/or the sales price or if you held the stock. The letter arrives 10 years after the company has gone bankrupt (or 5 years in the case of the car or Jeep). And just for a bit you take the bait, can I actually dig up those records? Let’s say I don’t keep all of my paperwork in a basement room, mostly because I don’t have a basement. I share an apartment and have a tiny room and my role in the apartment is that of microwave cleaner. How much would I collect? It turns out that I’d probably get around 5 to 10 dollars. Apparently, the settlement involved millions of people and it was equally divided between all the possible claimants. The lawyers get a nice fee and anything left over… well I don’t know what happens to that.

Okay what’s the good news?
That was the good news.
What’s the bad news?
Prices of chicken in Russia climbed by more than the interest bank was paying.

Even in Russia the chickens look like hens. A chicken used to be a tiny bird like a Cornish hen. The chickens of cornish hen’s used to be even smaller.
Maybe those are turkeys.
You’re right. I’d like to see them race.

Okay that was amusing.
I got more.
Okay show me the good news.
The Marine Corps has got wildfire solutions.

That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?
Apparently Hollywood and Bollywood are getting closer. At least in The Times. Is a Bollywood takeover on the way?

Why is that bad news? Bollywood too can become white.
Ah right. No I’ve never tried skin whitening cream.

I see. You got more or are we done with MJ?